Jolene Martin is a television personality, anchor, MC and businesswoman. Popularly known for her bubbly personality and being the current host of the lottery game show Powerball, Jolene talks to ZAlebs about her experience in marriage, divorce and dating.

“I believe love to be a word which is used to group together an array of human experiences such as infatuation, chemical attraction, emotional connection, lust, companionship etc. Love is dynamic and will always change its form in a relationship. Sometimes we are naive and believe that we’ll always feel about someone, the way we did when we first met them. Also it’s important to realise that love cannot live, breathe and grow in a negative environment. I’ve learnt that. Love can die if not treated correctly”, said Jolene.

“Valentine’s day is possibly my least favourite day of the year. I enjoy anything authentic and I feel that some people feel under pressure to parade their ‘love’ for their partners on this particular day and that flies in the face of authenticity. I would value a cup of tea after a long day at work much more than a two carat ring and a bouquet of flowers. Everyday should be filled with random manifestations of I love you”, said Jolene.

“Going back into dating since my divorce it’s been impossible to be honest. It will take a lot of time to regain my confidence in my judgement. I allowed myself to get into a situation where my joy and self-esteem were badly affected but I made that choice. I’m still re-building me and I won’t even consider getting involved until that re-construction is complete.

“Right now I’m dating me. I buy myself my favourite flowers and perfume. I take myself out to a movie. I go on long drives and travel to places which intrigue me. Doing things alone is teaching me to love myself again and maybe I’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day this year as a milestone in learning to love me”, said Jolene

If I could give love advice to 21 year old Jolene, knowing what I know now I’d say ‘Listen to me very clearly you stubborn little girl, take your time! Don’t get married before 35, even though your grandmothers will say stuff like ‘it’s getting late in the day’. Realise that you are dating men post feminism and this will make them act out of character compared to men like your dad”, said Jolene.

By Nomvula Ngema