At the beginning of this week, we all watched as Ntando Duma took to social media to voice out her frustrations about the father of her daughter. The actress and TV presenter revealed that Junior De Rocka has been neglecting their child, who is over a year old. Ntando’s outburst was triggered by the fact that Junior donated some stuff to a school - which means he was able to spend money on other people, while he cannot do the same for his baby girl.
Although this might have come as a shock to some people, it’s really no surprise to me (and many others). In South Africa, we’ve seen so many instances where men neglect their children and carry on with their lives as if nothing has happened.
I’m speaking about people in my personal life who have kids with men who have never even bothered to buy food, let alone see their own flesh and blood. I’ve watched some of my closest friends and family members (women) working hard to make sure that their kids are fed, clothed, taken to school, etc, while the fathers are chilling nicely wherever they are - not even bothered.
Why must the court be involved for you to take care of your child? Why must you constantly be reminded about your responsibility? How do you make a child and carry on with your life as if nothing has happened? When will this stop?
Now I’m not saying that there aren’t men who take care of their children. I’ve seen a lot of good men doing right by their children and being present financially and emotionally. However, there are still so many absent fathers and mothers unfortunately have to take all the responsibility (and they do a great job, by the way).
Raising a child is more than just sending money at the end of the month. It’s about being present and involved in every area of their life, having (and maintaining) a healthy relationship.
While I might not know exactly why Ntando felt the need to share her story on social media, I can certainly empathise with her because I’ve seen her situation so many times. Fathers need to do better. They need to realise that raising a child is a lot more than a financial transaction. Also, I don’t know Junior’s story, although he’s explained his side, but I hope that he and Ntando can work this out for the sake of their baby.
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Main image credit: Instagram/@dumantando