In this edition of Zalebrity Roll Call, Katy Perry is slammed for her sales tactics, Chris Brown is snubbed plus Prosper and Tina’s scary ordeal…

Not Even Divorced and He’s Already Knocked Her Up?

Ashton Kutcher is still embroiled in a divorce from estranged wife Demi Moore, but has seemingly already knocked up new gal Mila Kunis.

The petite actress was spotted taking a stroll with her boyfriend on Saturday, and she appeared to be clearly sporting a little baby bump. The couple went public about their relationship in September after denying a possible relationship for a while.

Mila has spoken about wanting to have a baby, though. She told Glamour magazine recently that she’d “rather be in love and have a baby than a movie”, and a source close to Ashton told Star Magazine that he was ready to start a family.

However, the actress has adamantly denied that she’s about to welcome half a person into the world: her spokeswoman told MailOnline, “She is not expecting”.

Perhaps the pair had just returned from an all-you-can-eat buffet and the actress overdid it a little. But Demi must be relieved: she was apparently trying to fall pregnant for a while, with no success.

She Not Only Kissed a Girl, She’s Also Selling Sex!

Singer Katy Perry has been accused of “selling sex” to children, after Canadian electronic band Crystal Castles revealed they were shocked at her salacious routines and tour merchandise that was just plain unsuitable.

The band would like to see Katy take more responsibility toward her role as an influencer on young people’s lives and style.

According to StupidCelebrities.net, the band’s lead singer Alice Glass told NME magazine: “I think a lot of [pop stars] sell sex to children. I think a lot of kids are more sexualised now than they were years ago and I’m not sure it’s a coincidence.”

She was shocked that little six-year-old girls wore t-shirts displaying the words, “I wanna see your [pea]cock]”. The band’s keyboard player Ethan Kath agrees: “…the ‘Pea’ is on a different line [on the merchandise] so you don’t see it. She sells it to f**king children.”

And the band went on: “It’s f**king evil. Don’t prey on vulnerable people like that. Don’t encourage little girls to get dressed up, to have cupcakes on their t**s to get people to lick them off, ‘cos that’s what you’re insinuating.”

Hmm, has it occurred to the band that it’s not technically the little girls making these purchases?

Skyfall Gets …erm… Vatican’s Approval

Though the entire concept of James Bond surely breaks several of the commandments, the official word from the Vatican – the seat of Catholicism – is that the most recent Bond film Skyfall is the best ever.

The religious organisation’s newspaper published a review of the film recently, and, according to ContactMusic.com, Bond’s character in this film was “more real”. The review claimed that Skyfall featured all of the main ingredients of a Bond film, including “title credits song, adrenalin pumping action, amazing hyper-realistic chases, exotic locations, extremely beautiful Bond girls, the usual super villain and the essential vodka martini”. The newspaper even included four other features on James Bond.

Well, that settles it then. James Bond number 23 is definitely a must-see film this year. Perhaps this time around he doesn’t sleep with any women, disrespect other people’s property, or kill anyone.

Too Little, Too Late for Some…

Singer Chris Brown seems to be pretty desperate to redeem himself in the eyes of the part of the world that still thinks beating up a woman is bad.

The ‘Turn Up the Music’ star is launching a new charity, called The Symphonic Love Foundation, with the aim of establishing and funding several arts programs for the youth of Los Angeles. The Foundation will also encourage the young people to be more involved in public service.

This comes from a person who failed to fulfil his six months of community service for beating up his girlfriend at the time Rihanna, with whom he now seems to have rekindled a relationship.

All his efforts are still falling on deaf ears though: he asked up-and-coming Irish band the Original Rudeboys to support him when he performs at Dublin’s O2 arena in December. However, the acoustic hip hop trio have rejected his offer, saying they have no wish to be associated with a man who violently assaulted his then-girlfriend.

Sean Walsh, a member of the group, rued the fact that it was a “huge opportunity” and that they are missing out on a “substantial fee”, but he added, “…we are completely against Chris Brown’s assault on Rihanna.”

We’re sad to say they might be one of the last people to stick to their guns…

Weird Demand for Sex

Prosper Mkwaiwa and his wife Tina were subjected to a scary yet weird ordeal on Friday night…

Visiting the Morula Sun Casino in Mabopane, north of Pretoria, a man with a gun followed Tina into their room, and demanded they have sex in front of him.

At first, Prosper thought the man was an escort for his wife, because he was following her and was wearing a security uniform, but his real intentions were revealed when he announced he would kill the couple and himself.

But not before they carried out his odd request. The couple appealed to the gunman for more than an hour, but the man was adamant they should fulfil his request. However, Prosper made his move while the man was moving his weapon from one hand to another. Although the scuffle caused the gun to go off and shoot Tina in the leg, Prosper could not get the gun away from the man, and he shot the businessman in the leg twice.

Prosper then managed to get the weapon away from the assailant, who stumbled and hit his head, but still managed to escape. He is still at large.

The couple were treated for shock and gunshot wounds, but Tina’s words sum up their entire experience: “That man is sick upstairs.”

Listen To The Doctor’s Orders!

Rapper Lil Wayne has been warned not to fly by his doctor following two scary incidents.

On two separate occasions, Lil Wayne suffered seizure-like occurrences while flying and his doctor has now banned him from taking to the skies.

The rapper was taken to hospital following the second attack and sources close to Lil Wayne have told TMZ that taking to the skies is not on the cards right now as he looks to rest and recover fully.

Thousands of messages of concern have been flooding in for the tattooed performer and the man himself has taken to Twitter to thank everyone for their well-wishes – ‘Thanx for all the prayers! I am good (sic)’, he tweeted.

Get better soon, Lil Wayne…

Depp – A True Romantic

Johnny Depp has used all of his powers of persuasion to win back the heart of Amber Heard – with handwritten poems and flowers her crutch.

The 49-year-old actor could not live without Heard after splitting from his wife Vanessa Paradis and simply had to get her back after their romance appeared to deflate.

A source told The Sun: ‘Although Amber and Johnny have electric chemistry, she felt that as they are both out of long-term relationships, they needed to be single for a while.

Johnny didn’t give up though – he missed her so much over the summer. They both love literature and the way he tried to win her back totally worked.

‘Once they flew to his island in the Bahamas for a romantic break a couple of weeks ago, they were back on as a couple. Johnny’s the type to fall hard and he’s vowed not to let a girl like Amber, who’s beautiful and intelligent, slip through his fingers.’

Things are now going strong with the pair and there is even talk of possible wedding bells in the future.

Who knew Depp was such a romantic?

Kroeger Acting Like A D**k

Cringeworthy singer Chad Kroeger has revealed that he once enticed a roadie to place his penis inside a metal fan.

In an interview with Men’s Health magazine, the Nickelback frontman bragged about the incident and admitted he paid the roadie to humiliate himself.

Kroeger said: ‘We were in Germany years ago and we were just bored. In a back room in the venue where we were playing, there was an old fan with a metal blade.

‘I don’t remember the last time I saw a fan with a metal blade. And we paid the drum tech … I think we got the pot up to about 600 deutschmarks. At this time Germany hadn’t converted to the Euro yet. (To) Stick his johnson in the fan.

Ben Is Feeling A Little Left Out

Ben Affleck has revealed that his relationships with actors have changed since he took up directing.

Affleck has decided that a stint behind the camera would be good for his career, but it has made him see a different side of things in the acting game.

He told BANG: ‘I’m not one of the guys any more. I remember I was walking over to the house guests and I heard one of the guys talking about getting stoned – I think somebody had brought something into the house – and as I arrived everybody clammed up.

‘I thought, ‘When did I become this guy? What am I, the dad?’ I’m an asshole all of a sudden.’

Oh well, Ben. At least you still have millions of dollars…

Simmons Feels For The Homeless

Def Jam head honcho Russell Simmons has shown his sympathy toward the homeless in New York in a rather strange way.

After being asked about the damage Hurricane Sandy would cause and the impact it would have on those living on the street, Simmons told TMZ:  ‘They’re f**cked … it’s terrible.

‘I mean I love Mayor Bloomberg, but he did a sh**ty job with the homeless … and now look at the mess … really, I don’t know what to say.’

Simmons was also concerned about his property in the mega-rich area of the Hamptons, adding: ‘My pad in the Hamptons might be twisted.’

At least you care about the homeless – somewhat – Russell…

Article via MSN