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Time For Tea: Zombies and Twitter detectives
By Time For Tea on 02 October 2015 at 10:36 · Comments
September 28 will go down in history as the day black Twitter tried their hand at investigation, and failed dismally.

See, it all started when word got out that a popular South African actress had been arrested at O.R Tambo airport for trying to smuggle drugs into the country.

The actress’ name could not be released until she appeared in court the next day.

But black Twitter was on the case and, well, that was never going to end well.

The hashtags #GuessTheActress and #DrugBust quickly started trending.

First they blamed actress Pam Andrews, who recently moved abroad with her husband. Why? Because she is coloured and grew up in the Cape Flats. But she was soon ruled out.

Mmm, which other local actress was abroad? Stevie French! It has to be her, Tweeps concluded without much (more like nothing) to go on. After she started trending (for the first time in her career, nogal), Stevie shut down the Twitter investigators, though she was totally loving her 15 minutes of fame.

But it turns out that not only was the woman arrested not popular, but she also was not an actress at all! And so ended black Twitter’s career as investigators.

Where is Jessica Fletcher when you need her?!

Another week, another Sfiso Ncwane dilemma. The gospel singer was once again trending for all the wrong reasons, and unlike Stevie, his career was taking a major knock

We thought we had heard the end of all this Sfiso drama, especially after he bought his mother groceries to fill up her fridge. But it seems he just can’t keep his mouth shut.

He dropped a major bombshell this week. Apparently, the reason he stopped going to her house was because there are zombies there!

And as if that wasn’t enough, he added that he also stopped sending his mother money because she uses the cash to consult with sangomas, and as a born-again Christian, he cannot accept such things.

Well, Sfiso, did you ever think about just buying the groceries yourself and sending them over?

In other equally miserable news, South Africa woke up this morning to learn that Cassper Noyvest had dropped a diss track on SoundCloud, entitled Dust2Dust – which is already trending.

No points for guessing who his target was. Yes, his nemeses AKA was in the firing line and Cassper took some major shots at the rapper. 

He rapped: 

“Every time you tweet something and delete I forgive you 'cause I know it's not you it's the cocaine.”

"I'm filling up the Dome in a few, bro, you're kidding me, you're opening for Jason Derulo?"

"Zinhle left you in public and I don't blame you sis, they say it's nearly impossible to raise two kids”

“Bonang would never ever come out in public with a broke druggie, I'd be shocked if she does...."

Yawn, can Cassper #FillUpTheDome already so he and AKA can stop with the whack beef?! 

*sips tea*

*Our new weekly column, Time for Tea, takes a look at celebrity news making headlines. So grab yourself a cuppa, and join the conversation! #TimeForTea

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