See, it all started when word got out that a popular South African actress had been arrested at O.R Tambo airport for trying to smuggle drugs into the country.
The actress’ name could not be released until she appeared in court the next day.
But black Twitter was on the case and, well, that was never going to end well.
The hashtags #GuessTheActress and #DrugBust quickly started trending.
First they blamed actress Pam Andrews, who recently moved abroad with her husband. Why? Because she is coloured and grew up in the Cape Flats. But she was soon ruled out.
📷 |@Cfa89: Nah man Pam Andrews would have used the drugs before it came to SA, she's out of the equation #DrugBust” pic.twitter.com/ja8tXV9jUe
— X (@Chem_X) September 28, 2015
Pam Andrews sitting somewhere reading Black Twitter like "Damn! I needs to get my act together!" #GuessTheActress
— Sakina Saky Godwin (@AniksaGodwin) September 28, 2015
Mmm, which other local actress was abroad? Stevie French! It has to be her, Tweeps concluded without much (more like nothing) to go on. After she started trending (for the first time in her career, nogal), Stevie shut down the Twitter investigators, though she was totally loving her 15 minutes of fame.
You're in the pool for 5mins and Twitter has a hernia 😱😱😱 thank goodness for outdoor wifi! #ItWasntStevie promise 😘😘 pic.twitter.com/UJ7J14Ymbw
— Stevie French (@StevieFrenchSA) September 28, 2015
But it turns out that not only was the woman arrested not popular, but she also was not an actress at all! And so ended black Twitter’s career as investigators.
Where is Jessica Fletcher when you need her?!
Another week, another Sfiso Ncwane dilemma. The gospel singer was once again trending for all the wrong reasons, and unlike Stevie, his career was taking a major knock.
We thought we had heard the end of all this Sfiso drama, especially after he bought his mother groceries to fill up her fridge. But it seems he just can’t keep his mouth shut.
He dropped a major bombshell this week. Apparently, the reason he stopped going to her house was because there are zombies there!
And as if that wasn’t enough, he added that he also stopped sending his mother money because she uses the cash to consult with sangomas, and as a born-again Christian, he cannot accept such things.
Well, Sfiso, did you ever think about just buying the groceries yourself and sending them over?
In other equally miserable news, South Africa woke up this morning to learn that Cassper Noyvest had dropped a diss track on SoundCloud, entitled Dust2Dust – which is already trending.
No points for guessing who his target was. Yes, his nemeses AKA was in the firing line and Cassper took some major shots at the rapper.
He rapped:
“Every time you tweet something and delete I forgive you 'cause I know it's not you it's the cocaine.”
So this #Dust2Dust track neh... pic.twitter.com/87ofjmUDWA
— IG: Lunga_Shabalala (@LungaShabalala) October 2, 2015
"I'm filling up the Dome in a few, bro, you're kidding me, you're opening for Jason Derulo?"
"Zinhle left you in public and I don't blame you sis, they say it's nearly impossible to raise two kids”
“Bonang would never ever come out in public with a broke druggie, I'd be shocked if she does...."
#Dust2Dust Soundcloud Link: https://t.co/AAa40H2q4o
— October 31st TheDome (@CassperNyovest) October 2, 2015
Yawn, can Cassper #FillUpTheDome already so he and AKA can stop with the whack beef?!
*sips tea*
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