Why you need to stop sexualizing Anele's son

Mdoda has previously addressed the matter but the comments still persist

By  | Dec 06, 2018, 01:43 AM

Why you need to stop sexualizing Anele's son

Seeing Anele Mdoda chastise someone for making a sexualized comments about her son is nothing new, but despite how many times she explains why it is a problem, the comments still persist. ย 

Alakhe is only two years old and yet his pictures are flooded with comments from grown women saying things such as "Tatu polisa please arrest me," "Mholo ndoda," "Indoda," "Arrest me officer๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜" and "My crush has grown" (which are all quotes taken directly from Mdoda's Instagram comments).ย 

Such comments are also posted on images that do not feature Alakhe directly like this post that Anele put up a few days ago, captioned: "Alakhe took a picture of me."

Anele mdoda instagram

One of her followers commented: "Tjooo alakhr ngathi thanda izinto ben 10 lam elo bo ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚"*[sic] to which Mdoda repsonded "my child is not your f***ing Ben 10. Know your damn place."

*(sic) (with square-brackets usually) is an abbreviation of 'sic erat scriptum' which is Latin for 'thus it had been written', meaning that the quote prior was transcribed as it was found in the original source, complete with errors, coloquialisms etc.

One of the main counter-arguments to Mdoda's response to such comments is "I don't think she meant it in a bad way hle" but there is no good way of referring to a child as though they were an autonomous (sometimes sexually active) adult.ย 

That is Mdoda's number one problem with this - the way it is viewed as harmless - because she believes that lends itself to acclimatizing children to such treatment so that by the time they are adults, they are unable to see when someone is actually crossing a line with them.ย 

"It breeds the worst behaviours and for me that is enough. That is why I am like 'you don't flipping tell me that you are my son's wife' because the fact that you can talk and he can't is telling enough that you are not" said Mdoda.ย 

In fact. Mdoda has addressed this multiple times, including a post she put up on her Facebook page and in a previous interview with ZAlebs where she said she feels very strongly about healing patriarchy because she believes that it hurts boys too which is why sheโ€™s getting an early start on that with her son.ย 

We shouldn't even have to use a reversed example of the situation in which we ask ourselves how we would feel about this if Alakhe was a little girl and these were grown men making such comments for us to see just how wrong this is.ย 

"It's not to say that [when] Alakhe is 20 and he's not going to fall in love with a 40-year-old woman, if he does, then so be it but he is 20, let him choose his sexual path. Let him choose when becomes a sexual creature. He's only 2-years-old, ubona kanjani indoda kumtana une 2-years old?" said Mdoda.ย 

She went on to add, "we've got a very strange thing in this country where we don't want to protect boys... okay, it's because of the heavy patriarchy but how you heal patriarchy is to start when they are young, so that they don't grow up to be empty vessels who feel that they should be respected just because they are men."

Main image credit: channel24.co.za