The exclusive South African screening of Comedy Central's Justin Bieber Roast, hosted by Kevin Hart, took place on Tuesday.
The Roast featured a crazy, unexpected line up that had us laughing like intoxicated hyena at jokes from Shaquille O’Neal, Martha Stewart, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, and some guy named Hannibal who apparently exposed the Bill Cosby saga.
Quite honestly, when the roast was announced I was a little worried about the delivery and I wasn’t sure how the Beliebers would react to their godling being subjected to such cruelty and brutal assault. And as Justin Bieber said himself – his ball were kicked in at the Roast.
If you’re a staunch Belieber this is obviously not for your viewing pleasure as it has an age restriction of 16 due to language and all other profanity. But if you’re not a personal lover of JB – well you’re in luck! These roasters take no hostages and are very liberal with firing shots and throwing shades.
Check out some of my favourite punchlines from last night.
"... You haven't put out an album in three years. What are you doing? If you listen closely you can hear the sounds of One Direction fucking your fans." —Jeffrey Ross
“Selena Gomez used to bang this guy, proving once again that Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” — Jeffrey Ross
"Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she's dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a moustache before you?" —Jeffrey Ross
"You acted so much like a pussy on the show that Ellen tried to eat you." —Ludacris
“You’re not tough, Justin. You’ve been on ‘Ellen’ 14 times. You act so much like a pussy on the show, Ellen tried to eat you.” — Ludacris
"It's an honour to be at a roast hosted by Shaq's dick,"—Pete Davidson said of Kevin Hart
"Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards,"—Natasha Legerro
"Snoop, you look like Shaq's skeleton,"—Natasha Legerro
"You have it all … Except love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy,"—Chris D'Elia
And one of my favourite comebacks (excuse the pun) from Justin Bieber himself…
"Martha, thanks for coming. I know that's something you probably don't do much of anymore." —Justin Bieber
You have to see it to Belieb it…check out the trailer her: https://youtu.be/h8OcLOdAmaA