For years, men have been urged to “man up,” stay resilient, and keep their feelings locked away. But behind that pressure, many are quietly battling mental health struggles, financial stress, strained relationships, and the constant burden of expectations—often without any real outlet. Actor and creative entrepreneur Andile Nebulane, who also works as a men’s mental health advocate, says silence is one of the biggest threats facing men today. Through his organisation, An Pros, he is rolling out Ndoda Thetha!!!, a movement designed to break the quiet and spark real, honest conversations about what men are dealing with.
A movement built to end “suffering in silence”
Nebulane views Ndoda Thetha!!! as more than a one-off appearance on the events calendar. He wants it to grow into a nationwide push that gives men permission to speak, to listen, and to heal—together and without judgement.
In explaining why he created the project, Nebulane pointed to a personal experience that left him feeling targeted and powerless. He says he launched Ndoda Thetha!!! after learning what it feels like to endure pain privately.
“I created Ndoda Thetha!!! because I know what it feels like to suffer in silence. There was a time when my dignity—and everything I’d worked for—was being undermined because someone falsely claimed I had a child I wasn’t supporting,” Nebulane shared.
The impact of public accusations and isolation
He described how the situation played out in real life, including the fallout that reached beyond him.
- He says he was repeatedly insulted online.
- He adds that his children were affected by what was being said.
- He recalls feeling as though he was “dying inside,” with no clear person to turn to.
- He believes the hardest part was that people had already chosen to believe the story.
That experience, he says, helped him understand that many men carry painful stories with nowhere to go—and nowhere safe to speak them.
Launch details: immersive theatre, dialogue, education and music
The movement’s official launch is scheduled for Saturday, 25 July, at Gramadoelas in the Market Theatre precinct in Johannesburg. The programme begins with Ndoda Thetha!!!– Diaries of Men & Money, an immersive experience that combines theatre with facilitated discussion, learning sessions, and live music.
The event opens with Tuxedo, a multidisciplinary theatre production written and directed by Nebulane. The cast includes Anele Situlweni and Phumlani Nyanga.
“My storytelling has always come from a place of truth and reality. Life fuels my craft, and my craft feeds my life. Theatre gives people a chance to see themselves reflected on stage—and that’s often where healing begins,” Nebulane said.
Why money, and how the conversation will run
After the theatre opening, the programme moves into structured discussions covering financial wellbeing, fatherhood, identity, purpose, and mental health. Industry specialists will provide practical financial guidance during the session. Broadcaster Nimrod Nkosi—an award-winning presenter—will host alongside Nebulane, while musician 047 will bring the event to a close with a live performance.
Nebulane also explained that the three exclamation marks in the title are intentional, meant to underline the urgency of the conversation.
What Nebulane hopes men will take from the money focus
He said money was chosen as the first theme because it sits at the centre of many of the struggles men face.
“Money can either break or build a man. Seeing veteran actors, stars, and sports legends—mostly men—asking for donations or suffering financially really affected me. Today, many men believe their worth is measured by what they earn. Men can lose relationships because they can’t provide, and many end up depressed because of it,” he said.
Another personal lesson behind the push to speak out
Nebulane’s drive also comes from watching a close friend’s life unravel after the friend was falsely accused of rape. He said the group knew the allegations were not true, but that they still had no place to talk about it because people often assume the man is guilty immediately.
“That experience helped me realise how many men are carrying unbearable burdens with no support,” he said.
Healthy masculinity, vulnerability, and what comes next
Even as mental health conversations have become more visible, Nebulane admitted that opening up about his own emotions remains challenging.
“It has always been difficult for me to speak, and in many ways it still is. What helps me most is knowing that silence will kill me. I want other men to understand that asking for help is not a weakness,” he said.
He believes healthy masculinity is about striking a balance—strength on one side, vulnerability on the other.
- He describes a “healthy man” as someone who feels secure enough to be both strong and open.
- He says that kind of man protects, nurtures, listens, learns, and takes responsibility.
- He adds that providing is more than paying bills, but that financial responsibility is part of loving a family well.
While the Saturday launch is the start, Nebulane sees Ndoda Thetha!!! as only the first step in a longer journey. He wants to take the initiative into communities and across institutions, including schools, universities, workplaces, and correctional facilities throughout South Africa.
“My vision is for Ndoda Thetha!!! to become more than an event. It must become a movement where every man knows he can knock, speak, and ask for help without fear or shame,” he said.
