So you’ve just gotten your results and it’s on to the next chapter of your life, ADULTHOOD.
While adulthood is nothing to smile about (trust us, we know), the little things in life - like entertainment - can provide a wonderful and momentary escape when things get a little tough.
Most of you will be moving to a new province while others might be lucky enough to move out of home. Considering the fact that fees have not yet fallen and the cost of living is only going up, you’re going to have to leave the creature comforts of home behind.
With no more DSTV, no sound system and enough money to go out every once in while, sites like ZAlebs will come in real handy when you need to find out what’s hot, who did what as well as where it’s going down.
We give you the ZAlebs student guide to the entertainment industry.
A - is for AKA
Whether you’re jamming to his music, checking out his latest Instagram post, reading about his latest antics or going to one of his shows, there’s a reason that Kiernan Forbes is one of South Africa’s most widely publicize celebrity. He entertains the masses both intentionally and unintentionally on a regular basis.
B - Braamfontein
If you’re studying in Joburg (or even Pretoria), Braam is the preferred hangout spot for those who want to see and be seen. But before you head over to the land of the Influencer (both real and imagined) make sure you’ve got your Instagram aesthetic on lock.
C - Clubs
Kong, Harem, Taboo, Vanity, The Sands, Zone 6 Venue and now Icon Soweto, these are the spots you’ll usually see mentioned in posts from Promo Twitter.
It’s also one of our favourite spots to be (work wise) because your favourite rappers and it-girls love to party there when they’re not in Braamfontein but be warned, DO NOT GO TO THE CLUB if your bank account can’t handle it. Club prices are nothing like real life prices and we would rather you and your student budget avoid that stress.
D - DJ’s
Considering the fact that they are the real party starters and music’s MVP’s, you’ve got to know your DJ’s. Upcoming and established.
E - Events
The life-blood of any entertainment industry, events are our bread and butter and your escape from the realities of life. Keeping up with what’s hot can be tedious but we’ve got you guys when it comes to what’s going down, when and where.
F - F___boys
They’re not just a part of the industry, they’re a part of life and they are to be avoided at all costs!
If you don’t know what they are by now, just stay away from high top fades (sometimes topped with dreads), t-shirts that are abnormally long or have those hobo-chic holes in them, NMD’s or Nike Air Jordans and skinnier than average skinny jeans.
G - Gossip
One of the cornerstones of the industry, anyone that says they do not gossip is lying. Rappers do it, it girls definitely do it and so are the people who sign all the cheques. How else do you guys think we get our information?
H - Hashtags
Simply put: sometimes, that’s where the juice is at!
I - Instagram
Again: sometimes, that’s where the juice is at!
J - Jozi
Yes, there’s the University Currrently Known as Rhodes (UCKAR), UCT, NMMU, DUT, Monash and many more but nothing compares to studying in Gauteng, namely Jozi. Because when it come to entertainment, this city is where it’s at.
K - Kotini
It’s about more than the clothing, it’s a lifestyle guys. And we aren’t all on that Riky Rick/Mabala Noise budget so it doesn’t have to be name brands. If you have what it takes to carry the look, who cares if that killer coat you have on is from Givenchy or Small Street?
L - Liquor
Wherever entertainment is concerned, alcohol flows but you’ve got to know how to hold your liquor. Know what works for you and what doesn’t, as well as what works for your wallet and what doesn’t.
M - Maftown Heights
While this one falls under events, it has to get it’s own considering what an achievement it is on the part of DreamTeam Entertainment and Khuli Chana. From 900 attendees in its first year to an expected annual crowd of 10 000 people, Maftown Heights is one of the social calendars most anticipated events.
N - Nudes
You will be asked for these on a regular basis and some people might even just send them to you without asking but for Pete’s sake: rather save them on the cloud than the actual phone, or better yet, send and receive via snapchat (it disappears once it has been seen). And take Kanye West’s advice “when you take a picture; cut off your face, and cover up the tattoos by your waist,” that way, if it ever gets out, you can say “it could be anyone!”
O - OppiKoppi
Student or not, this is another one of the social calendars most anticipated events that you have to attend whenever you can.
They have even started including other genres of music so you know it’s bound to be a jump.
P - Pop Bottles
Make sure your kicks are on point, save up because the numbers are REAL at Pop Bottles. That event is of good looking people so it would be preferable if you’re single. If not, put your person as your screen-saver… you know… just as a reminder.
Q - Queers
Queer (adjective): an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual or not cisgender. And the industry is FULL of queer individuals. So please, leave your homophobia at the door. Thank you
R - Rouge
We’re being incredibly biased here but she’s our favourite rapper and definitely one to watch.
S - Startstruck
Those of you who will be studying, playing and partying where the stars like to hang out will have to remember that you could run into them at any time and the key is to KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE!
We get it, you just LOVE Boity and now she’s right there in front of you but just take a second to breathe, cry if you must, and then pull yourself together, walk over with a smile on your face, say “sorry to interrupt,” and then proceed to tell her how much you love her (while keeping it cute, not creepy) before asking for a pic.
Which you will go on to post on all your social media pages to make all those kids you went to high school with so jealous.
T - Twitter
The quickest and easiest way to get all your news - current affairs, politics, finance and entertainment. Make sure you follow Zalebs while you’re at it.
U - Uber (or Taxify)
Your new best friends when it comes to getting around - especially at night or when going to places that aren’t easily accessible via public transport. Now that they even have the cash option, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be making use of them.
V - Vuzu
They don’t only provide “out of this world TV” for the youth, they’re also involved in sponsoring many of the aforementioned events. Vuzu isn’t just a TV channel, they’re part of the culture.
W - Weed
Kush, broccoli, Mary Jane’s flowers, that loud, a jay, spliff - whatever you call it, you will come across it at some point.
X - okay… Exes starts with an ‘e’ but still…
Some exes are better left in the past. Now that the world is your oyster and you will be meeting new and exciting people, keep 1 Corinthians 13:11 in mind - “when I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”
Y - YangaHe's a cool song-writer and producer so if you're an aspiring artist, you should give look to him for inspiration.
Z - ZAlebsThe number one place to get ALL your entertainment news so please bookmark this page and head over to all our social media pages. Thanks!
Main image credit: headhoncho.co.za