Last night, talented singer/songwriter Busiswa took to her IGTV to upload a three-part video series where she opened up about being a victim of abuse from her last two relationships. She began by saying that she needs to get something off her chest before getting into the details.
"In the years between 2013 and 2019, I was in, not one but two abusive relationships." Said Busiswa. "The first was with Sfiso Mazibuko who abused me physically, psychologically and emotionally. The second was with Katlego Mlangeni, who is the father of my child. He abused me physically, emotionally, financially, not only while we were in a relationship but he came after me four months after our break up to beat me up once again after seeing me out with someone else."
Although she named her abusers, she made it clear from the beginning that it wasn't the main purpose of her opening but she wants to help out women who might find themselves in the same situations.
"I'm not making this video to speak about these to individuals. I'm making this video to talk about gender-based violence but also, to talk to women and girls who have or may ever find themselves in those situations." She continued. "When I first got hit by a man, my first thoughts were not anger but pitty. I was in love and I thought the person that I was in love with was going through some things and I felt I needed to help them get through those things."
She sought professional help, hoping that it'll put an end to the abuse in her relationship. "I tried different things during the relationship. From therapy, anger management classes to the elders and prayer." She adds. "I really thought that abuse is something you can get through with your partner."
She assures all women going through the same thing that it is not their fault.
"I'm here to say to ladies who are in abusive relationships or who'll ever come across that situation, God forbid. You can't. It's not your place, it's not your responsibility, it's not your job to change an abuser."
She kept her situation a secret because she was worried about what people would think. "When I was in abusive relationships. Initially, I kept it a secret. I didn't tell anybody to protect the person I was with at the time. I also didn't want anybody to think that I am weak. How could confident, strong, empowered Busiswa be in an abusive relationship? I've since come to learn that it happens to anyone, in any status of life, from all walks of life."
At times her ex would physically abuse her just before she stepped on stage.
"I performed for thousands at shows, sometimes Immediately after I had been slapped. This happened to me many times and my focus was - to just go out there and put on a brave face, put on a smile and I was ashamed that I would now turn around and tell people that I was in a toxic and abusive relationship. I realised now, that it's not me. It is not your fault. You do not deserve to be abused."
