Rapper Big Xhosa is not having the easiest time with fame as he has poured his heart out saying he is suicidal. In an appreciation post to his fans who made his road to fame a breeze, Big Xhosa thanked them for the love but had to share how he suffers mentally.
“I've never really took a moment to appreciate and thank you guys for the support you have shown to me. You have changed my life," he started off.
Big Xhosa also made it known that ever since he gained fame and started becoming a rapper, he has never struggled financially, but he is not rich. "Ever since I became Big Xhosa I've never really struggled for anything financially, I have been able to provide for myself and my loved ones. I'm not rich, nor do I got everything I want, but I am blessed. And I owe all that to the people, it is you guys who discovered me and made me who I am,” he wrote.
Big Xhosa revealed that he often cries himself to sleep because of the pressure he faces on a regular as a result if being famous. This had lead him to becoming suicidal.
“However emotionally, this has been draining. It's been times when I cry myself to sleep, suicidal thoughts do cross my mind. There is no love here, just constant pressure, aiming to please and making other people happy but acting like I am, coz in all honesty nobody cares.
“I also have been getting death threats, people wishing I die. My older brother was killed and had his funeral just a day after my birthday. It's been difficult dealing with that as well. I've lost three of my loved ones this year,” he added.
He is also appreciative of the fact that he had never had to spend a cent on marketing and promotions, saying his success is solely on the love he is receiving from his fans. "I know a whole bunch of industry people hate me and wish I wasn't here or expecting me to fail."
He also promised to tell the story of how they constantly look down on him and how they snatched a whole lot of opportunities from coming to him. He asks his fans to keep him in their prayers as he is not doing very well.
"Please allow me to build this the way I see fit. I believe we both know I am a genius. I am fine but I'm not fine and hope you do keep me in your prayers as well."
Big Xhosa did achieve something some rappers wished they had. His Lemon Pepper Freestyle, featuring SOS, himself, had reached 100K views on YouTube in just under 24 hours after it's release.
Xhosa is a satirical rapper who gained fame by dissing almost all the rappers in the industry. This made him gain a few haters along the way.
