The ZAlebs do’s and dont’s for being on Date My Family

As the show enters it’s fifth season but the drama doesn’t seem to be dying down, we figured we’d lay down some ground rules for you guys since you just can’t seem to get it right.

To the contestants looking for love:

– Don’t gulp your drink. Potential bae’s families think that their potential is the best thing since sliced bread so even when their potential drinks, they might still judge you for it.

– Don’t claim to recognize family members. Even if you do, just don’t say anything. Rather wait for them to bring up the fact that they might know you and then brush it off like it was a chance encounter.

– Don’t judge the family’s living situation to their faces. If the food is trash, just eat what you can and pretend to be full. If the dishes are old, and the furniture is beat up, act like you didn’t see it and then go be shady in your confessional.

– Don’t pick a potential based on their friend’s hottness if looks are what you’re after. Friends are not family so they will not look alike and when it comes to the birds of a feather scenario, just remember: pretty people have ugly friends too. 

– Do get your affairs in order before going on the show. Files Twitter is always waiting to khipa your ndabas.

– Do get your story straight. Remember, you’re not just lying to a potential bae’s family, you’re lying to the entire country as well

To the families:

– We know you love them but don’t oversell your potential. Now home girl is expecting Kobe Bryant but all she ends up with…. 

– Don’t share clothes in the same episode 

– Don’t hit on the potential bae! This goes without saying but you guys STILL do it 

– Don’t jump the gun

– Do ask to represent the potential date and then scare off the future bae because you’ve already got your eye on them and you don’t need some new person ruining things. This should be a don’t but who are we kidding? We live for the drama and we want to see more of it.

“Why?” you may ask? Well… Because in the words of the iconic Joanne the Scammer “I’m a messy bi*** who lives for drama.”

To the potential dates:

– Do make amends with all your exes before the show. Or else they will drag you for claiming to be all the things you never were during your past relationship

– Don’t be a chauvinist (or a racist, bigot or colourist)

– Don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house. I.e: you can’t demand that your potential bae is hot, yellow, tall and fit if you look like a potato. Basically, 

– If you get chosen and you’re not up for a second date, do curve them like a pro.

– Lastly, do be careful what you choose to wear. You are on TV after all and the fashion police are out in full force

What else do you think people should or shouldn’t do on Date My Family? Comment below or tweet us @Zalebs

Main image credit: Facebook