Have you ever wondered how the concept of Lobola payment came about? If you have, you have that in common with Prince Kaybee, who recently expressed that he neither understands nor supports it.
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The music producer started up an interesting conversation online, which garnered a host of responses. He questioned why Lobola is paid, as he doesn’t get it.
He received a rather interesting range of responses. Many feel like lobola is a way for a man to appreciate the woman’s family for raising her, and to forge a good relationship between two families. In this way, two families that were previously apart merge and become one.
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But Prince Kaybee was not convinced by this reason. He thinks it shouldn’t be any of his business that the family raised the woman, as she is their child and it was their responsibility. As such, he should not have to pay them for doing their job when he played no part in their decision to have kids.
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Another tweep suggested that the practice is meant as a way for the man to show the woman’s family that he is financially stable and able to take care of his family once he marries their daughter.
This, too, was unsatisfactory to Prince, as he observed that, just because a man can afford lobola and shows that to the family, does not mean he is responsible enough to actually take care of his family once he is married. Just because a man is rich, KB observed, does not mean he has his priorities in order.
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Yet another idea was that a man marries a woman to come and help take care of him and his family. So as such, the man is essentially paying to get the woman as a caretaker. But Kabelo did not fully understand that one, and frankly, we don’t fully get it either.
According to the artist, part of his main objections to lobola, other than the fact that he does not understand why it is necessary, is that very many men go into debt because of it. Apparently, there are families that demand exploitative amounts of money from the man, so much that he is forced to take a loan for the payments. According to Kabelo, such incidents often result in crushing debt for men, and about 85% of the men caught in such traps wind up taking their own lives.
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One fan asked why the woman’s family gets appreciated but the man’s doesn’t, and KB agreed with the question. In conclusion, Kabelo was categorical that he would not want lobola for his daughter.
This is a pretty interesting discussion. Despite the fact that some tempers ran high at the thought of Africans dismissing their cultures, he raised a good point. It is important for people to interrogate the practices they engage in. But at the end of the day, it is a personal decision for him and his family, and we are happy he gets to make it without undue pressure.